[facethemusic]

My mother and I spent a good hour on the phone that morning having a heart-to-heart, and relaying parts of our conversation would be a good way to recap how I was feeling about each of these houses at the time.

First off, my mom was as brokenhearted as I was. Things seemed to have been going so well, and now this. Granted, there were some houses I wasn't very sad to lose. Houses like Voice and Double Bass had never made much of an impression on me, and I guess Flute had gotten all the pet care information they'd wanted. But things seemed to have been going so well at houses like Percussion and Guitar! My mom had been particularly rooting for Percussion, thrilled that I'd been meeting girls there who shared my faith. All in all, it was a really hard blow and we were both devastated.

But together we reached the conclusion that being sad wasn't going to help anything. For someone who'd never rushed herself, my mom was amazingly insightful when it came to encouraging me. She asked me to think of my four remaining houses as if they were the ONLY four on campus, because for me they might as well be. Then she asked me to talk to her about my feelings toward each house with that mindset - not mentally comparing it to other chapters that were no longer on my list, just trying to see the house for what it was. Here's what we discussed:

Trumpet - Pros of this house included the great philanthropy organization and the fabulous effort the girls seemed to be putting toward it. Another pro was the great networking opportunity I'd gain with Mrs. Impressive Alum who had a fabulous job in my hometown in the field I wished to enter. But I wasn't just looking for a feel-good service opportunity or a job connection - I was looking for sisters, and I just didn't see the girls here as that. My mom said she understood.

Saxophone - I couldn't think of a bad thing to say about this group. The girls were beautiful, smart, and sweet. The house was gorgeous. The chapter was well-respected as a "top" group on campus. I'd get to stay involved with a philanthropy organization that I truly had a heart for. It seemed like a match made in heaven. My mom too was excited that I still had this group left, but we were both nervous that it was the only favorite I'd managed to hold on to. Nevertheless, my sights were now completely set on this house.

Violin - I'd enjoyed my time here during both of the previous rounds. The girls I'd met were nice and I could see myself getting along with them. However, the chapter was fighting to keep its head above water and there were a lot of things that seemed to needed fixing. I could tell in the parties that organization and leadership were lacking. While my mom and I both saw some appeal in a house where I'd be able to really make a difference and leave my mark, I was genuinely nervous that this chapter wouldn't be on campus much longer, and my mom and I both saw this a huge red flag.

Piano - My mom was quite confused as to why this house hadn't been on my "favorites" list. She said I'd seemed to have had a good time based on the messages I sent her after both my parties here. She was right - I had liked the girls and felt very comfortable here, particularly in my first-round conversation about Harry Potter and my second-round conversation with a fellow musician. But in high school I had been acquainted with three sweet girls a year older than me who had all gone to XYZ School in my home state, pledged Piano, and proceeded to "go off the deep end." They were a subject of much gossip around my community and unfortunately it reflected very poorly on their letters in my mind and in the minds of many. I told my mom I didn't want people at home judging me for pledging Piano like those girls had. I didn't have to explain the story - my mom knew what had happened. Everyone did. But she told me I was being ridiculous for writing off the entire sorority. Those were three girls at one chapter, she said. Their particular Greek affiliation may not have even had anything to do with what happened to them. This was a strong national sorority, she said, and she could tell I had enjoyed my time there. She encouraged me to give them more of a chance, but I had my heart set on Saxophone.