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Thanks for all the advice! I truly have no problem writing another rec. The first one I did was based on knowing her personally and on her high school history. She's a stellar, high achieving young woman who had a disappointing recruitment -- we all know it happens sometimes. As pointed out, she DID pledge, even though I now know the chapter was far from what she really wanted. I mean, some PNM's flounce off in a huff and never give a sorority a chance.
Also, I'm actually FB friends with her and do recall, last fall, that she often posted pictures of herself with pledge sisters, promoted some things the sorority was involved with...I do honestly think she tried to make it work, but ultimately, it just was not the right fit. Again, we all know that does happen sometimes.
Despite last year's disappointing recruitment, she thinks her odds will be better Fall 2012 because she has met a lot of women in other sororities. (At an SEC school? I worry since her favorites have already dropped her once and she'll be a sophomore.) She was also a legacy to the one she did pledge -- and feels like she got dropped by her favorites because they all thought she would go with her legacy no matter what. (Could be, could not be -- again, it's an SEC school).
I don't want to not acknowledge the depledging because I imagine at least some girls in my sorority already know, and given that I did write a rec last year, certainly don't want to appear as though I'm trying to sneak one by them! At the same time, I don't want it to work against her -- I do think she'd be an amazing sister in the right house for her. How to word it is what I'm wrestling with. State it, explain why I don't believe it should be viewed as a negative mark (given that she did try to make it work), then go into all she has to offer?
As for how she left her past chapter, I really don't know -- but can only imagine it was done as graciously as possible. I've never seen anything in this girl's demeanor to make me think she would handle it any other way.
Just curious what other people's experiences may have been with this, and if there is a kind of unspoken Panhellenic protocol to this type of situation. Thanks again! As always, the insight has been great!
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