Quote:
Originally posted by Koss28
What makes you think he'll change this time? You're wasting your time.
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See, you (and she) think she's holding on because she thinks he'll change. WRONG! She's holding on probably because 1) she has invested a decade in his sorry behind, and it sucks to feel like you've wasted all that time for nothing, 2) she doesn't want to be alone, or 3) she doesn't want to have to start all over in the game (especially after listening to the issues your girls are having).
These are the stupid things that some of us do, and we rationalize them. She probably thinks that every man is gonna be like him anyway, but there are many things about him that she loves, he's probably trained sexually and maybe socially (not that we train yall :halo:, lol), and she's not willing to let go of the GOOD in him. She's not willing to let go of the GOOD memories.
Your theory suggests that people don't change. See, we know that people do, because God changes people. Where women make mistakes is that instead of LEAVING him and allowing the two of you to GROW SEPARATELY, we want to grow together, and that's impossible. Because what we really hate is putting in all that work, then we get fed up, break up, the mofo changes, and goes and gets another woman. After all our hard work, lol. This is how we think, ok. And not all of us, and not necessarily me. And then, like Ashanti said, we regret all the stuff. Not to mention, we see the potential in a man that he can't see in himself. We are nurturers by nature, and of course, we want to bring out that potential. That's why she's praying, that's why we stay for so long. We want to be there to see your light shine, to let us know that all the BS was worth it.
See, I think a lot about this. You also have to take into account what type of relationships people see growing up. You tend to end up wanting (or accepting) what you've seen. Maybe she comes from a family where the women are in relationships for years with no commitment. You just never really know.
I'm not saying she's not wasting her time, I'm just trying to give you a little insight, just like you're doing with us.
