[SWTXBelle]

I'd be interested in knowing what you are basing your knowledge that MOST Catholics are, at any given mass, not eligible. The state of an individual's soul would be, it seems to me, difficult to know. That whole "judge not lest ye be judged" thing - yeah. Even if you are aware of someone having done something which might render him/her ineligible you do not know if they went to confession right before mass for a mortal sin, and of course there is the confession that is a part of the mass. So even if someone came to mass ineligible, he/she could confess during the mass and thus be eligible by the time came to take communion.

It is only when actions are flagrantly in violation of church teaching that priests would be in a position to deny communion. So, if the daughter was presenting herself with her partner as a romantic couple the priest wouldn't have to "spy" on her. There have been a couple of cases covered in the media recently of homosexuals working in Catholic schools who had to resign upon announcing they were marrying their partners.

eta - Is communion routinely given at Catholic funerals? I was Anglican/Episcopalian until a few years ago and haven't been to a Catholic funeral.