Quote:
Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby
The point of etiquette is to not be rude.
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Agreed, with a slight modification. The point of etiquette, and etiquette rules, is to know what to expect. In other words, the point is to lay a groundwork of basic assumptions about what is rude and what is not (and yes, DrPhil is quite right that quite a discussion can be had about whose assumptions those are) so that people know how to avoid giving offense. Without a doubt, some things are likely to be seen as much more rude than others (talking with one's mouth full vs. eating with the wrong fork), and the ultimate goal is indeed to not be rude.
But even the rules that can seem arbitrary can matter -- where you put the napkin when you get up from the table can be a signal to servers as to whether you're coming back. (In your chair means you're coming back; loosely folded to the left of your plate means you are not.)