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I agree about better to be late than leave early. I would simply contact the recruitment chair/someone you have a connection with in the second group and tell them you have a prior engagement and will be running a little late, but that you are very excited and will get there as soon as possible. Honestly, I probably won't tell either group that you are preffing another house, because with informal recruitment, they likely have limited spots, and you don't want them to think you aren't interested in them. They will give those limited spots to women they really like, and women they think really like them.
(Yes, I realize this is true in FR as well, but due to the numbers, I think it is more important in informal recruitment.)
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