[barnard1897]

For every sorority relative who doesn't want to know, there is probably one or more who would be upset not to get the phone call. Obviously, each GLO handles this according to their own rules, but I will never forget how upset one of my APH friends was when her sorority released her daughter right before pref but did not notify her. She had written recs for hundreds of other girls, for years, to that very chapter, so her name should have been familiar to them. She felt incredibly hurt that the chapter did not have the courtesy of letting her know in advance that her daughter was not being invited back for pref. So. when her sobbing daughter called to say she was released, the mother was not prepared emotionally and had to regroup very fast to encourage her daughter to stay the course and finish out recruitment.

In that situation, the mom was an alum who had been active in an APH and was able to support the daughter by reminding her of the other groups that still wanted her very, very much. She was disappointed and upset with her own sorority's chapter, nonetheless, as it is their national's policy to inform the legacy's relative. The silver lining in that story is that her daughter ended up in my GLO and has been incredibly happy there.

Not everyone is well-versed in how this works, and what relatives need to understand is that, while you may be given an update from the chapter, you are not owed an explanation, heartbreaking as the result may be. I have to imagine that is absolutely the worst part of it for the moms, sisters or grandmothers. If it happens to my daughter someday, I will be mad as hell, but I'll have to find a way to remember that you must prepare for the worst, and not let that disappointment take away from the potential for the legacy to find a happy home in another GLO.