[AZTheta]

To the OP: take your mother out for coffee, very soon. And speak to her from your heart. You're going a little "crazy" with speculation, as well as feeling some real pressure (from what you've shared with us). The sooner you speak your truth, the lighter your burden will be. You don't really know what your mother is thinking; maybe she's worried because recruitment is "so competitive" and she doesn't want you to be hurt. I don't know, I can't say, and I myself am horrible at speculating so I avoid it as much as I can.

Other wise GCers have posted amazing advice on your thread and I recommend that you take the best, and leave the rest.

My suggestion: I'm in the "go through recruitment" camp. From what you've written, you'd fit right in to any of the 11 (soon to be 12) chapters at my campus (yes I know it isn't Alabama, it's Arizona, blah blah blah, don't jump me, that's not my point). I am willing to wager a Starbucks card that there is a home for you at your chosen university. No matter the letters, there is a shared sense of purpose and support, and lifetime connections that you will cherish far longer than the four short years you are in college.

Please. Open YOUR heart and mind, and go through recruitment with a big smile and no expectations. That's what I did, and I ended up making a life-changing choice. To this day, I'm grateful that the women of Kappa Alpha Theta saw something in me that I didn't see in myself, and they took a huge chance on me. I made the leap as well. But that's a story for another day!