[IndianaSigKap]

I was one of those girls who cried on bid night. Not because I didn't like my bid, I was on the other side of it.

We had two pref parties back then and I was matched with two girls who I really liked, but they were also going to chapters we didn't usually compete with. My first girl, I really really liked her. We had hit it off early in the recruitment process and I kept making sure to stop by and talk to her throughout. She had kept us to preference and her other chapter was one in a higher tier than us, not one we usually competed with. She came to us first and I was assigned to her. I did my best sell on her, she cried at the end of the party and hugged me. However, i knew she was going somewhere else, but I didn't know where. I thought I had done a great job. Second party, I had a girl who had consistently been at the top of our list. Her sister has just graduated from a chapter on our campus we didn't often compete with. I, again, thought the party had gone well. We connected and she cried. So fast forward to the next day when our VPM is reading our bid list and neither girl is on it. I was stunned. I admit it, I was hurt. More so by the first girl than the second, but still hurt. I cried a little, more out of frustration than anything. We were having bid night at a fraternity where one of my best friends was the president. For the first hour or so of the party, I stayed upstairs and played poker with the guys until I was over it.

Fast forward two weeks. I had a job at the mall and the first girl comes into my store specifically looking for me. She told me that her Rho Chi had come to her room first so she was still emotional and went with the tent talk, so she preffed the other chapter and put us second. She was upset because she didn't fit in with the chapter and especially her pledge class, all they did was party and that's not her. We stayed in touch until I graduated, she moved in sophomore year and was miserable. The second girl would have fit in with either chapter. She felt pressured to go to her legacy chapter and we saw each other often on campus.

These two experiences make me feel like girls should have to wait at least an hour to fill our their pref cards. This would give them time to really figure out which chapter(s) they really fit with and which one(s) they don't.