[dekeguy]

Geez, I thought the old rule regarding bids was: ONE BALL - THATS ALL. All you have to do is piss off one active, or in some cases an alum, and you are history. This is a tough situation but it is a double edged sword. If you are friends with an active he can always send you a discrete message to the effect that:
a. You might want to try again (meaning only one or two balls were dropped on you and he/they graduated so give it a shot, you have a reasonable chance)
or
b. sorry you didn't get a bid, but there are plenty of other things to get involved with (meaning when your name came up they had to odrer a truck load of black balls just to take the vote so you haven't got a prayer).

As to weed, while I agree with all that has been said on this, one might also consider this a set up for a test. If you were a 'possibility' but some weren't sure about your judgment and reliability this might have been the land mine placed in your path to see if you would step on it or around it. There is a time and a place for everything and where they might not have cared what you did privately among friends what you did semi-publicly among strangers might have set off warning bells.
You won't get all the info you would like but I would ask someone I had gotten to know well enough to ask whether he could tell you if you were close and it was worth a shot or if you tried again you might run the risk of tar and feathers compliments of an angry mob.
Some fraternities are super strict about any comments but in my experience most allow SOME leeway in advising candidates about their realistic chances for a second shot.
Good Luck.