[greekmom2]

She asked her friends and the Greek life office questions, but like many of the PNM’s that come on this forum, she heard what she wanted to hear and convinced herself that anyone giving her discouraging information was just a heartless witch out to crush her dreams. That attitude extended to me the few times I tried to suggest she should prepare herself for alternatives outside of Greek life.


Instead, she was much happier listening those friends – virtually all freshmen who had yet to go through recruitment on the other side- who assured her it would be fine because they LOVED her and were pulling for her. Again, without knowing a thing about sororities, it occurred to me that these girls really couldn’t give her that reassurance since they had no idea at this point how girls were even chosen in their chapters.


I felt like we needed a neutral source of information and that’s when I found this site which I directed her towards. I don’t think she ever wrote in and asked anything, but she did read quite a bit. I know she didn’t like everything she read, but I think deep down she realized this might be tougher than she expected. At least she seemed more willing to talk about the ‘what ifs’.


Meanwhile she had started to doubt whether even going back to Party State was a good idea (unbeknownst to us), but we would have been thrilled to know that she was rethinking and probably encouraged it at this point. We wanted her as far away from her ex as possible, and we wanted her to focus on her grades. Her advisor told her that with her grades as they were, getting into her program would be difficult, and she should at least consider staying home a semester, going to a community college, and getting them up, but in the end, despite her doubts, she was so committed to the sorority idea, she felt like she had to try.


So with all of that said, she started rush. Girls stayed in the dorms for it, and she wasn’t overjoyed to find herself surrounded by giggling freshman away at college for the first time. Her exact words were, “Mom, I remember being those girls last year and now all I can think is – just wait until your grades suck and you’re dating a psycho.” Things were off to a great start.

I do not remember whatsoever which houses she visited in what order although she gave me a ton of detail at the time, so here was her run down of the houses as she ranked them after the first two days (open house I guess).


Donuts – This was the group of girls who told her ex off at the party and marched out. She loved this chapter because they reminded her of her best friends from high school. She described them as pretty girls who didn’t have to try and weren’t afraid to be goofy. She had a great time here.


Raspberry Parfaits – She had a few passing acquaintances in this chapter. They were her favorites going into recruitment because they had a reputation as the “classy” sorority on campus. They dropped behind Donuts after the first round because the girls she spoke to on this day seemed disinterested in her. However, her high opinion of them throughout the year kept them near the top. She also knew her Rho Gam was a Raspberry Parfait (she knew the affiliations of virtually every Rho Gam there), and for reasons I will explain in a moment – she loved her Rho Gam who just solidified her high opinion of the
Raspberry Parfaits. She had also met a Raspberry Parfait at a formal in the spring who asked if she was interested in rush and assured her she would remember her and push for her. Brooke was naïve – but even she knew that was a stretch - she thought it was a nice thought though.


Chocolate Cake- This is the chapter that her best friend from cheer and her two buddies were in. She loved all but one of them (ex cheating issue). Fortunately, she didn’t see her and had a great time here. Really liked the rest of the girls who she thought were “funny”. She likes people who can make her laugh.


Baked Alaska – This was the chapter that her former cheerleader buddy was in, so she was prepared for awkward (Button had been kicked off the team shortly after their falling out and they hadn’t spoken). Button greeted her like a long-lost sister, which Brooke found odd and a bit fake. In spite of this, she had always liked the other girls in the chapter and that hadn’t changed.


Ice Creams – The Ice Creams were a mixed bag for her. They hung out a lot with ex’s fraternity so she had gotten to know quite a few of them and liked most of the girls she knew. The recruitment chair happened to be a good friend. BUT one of ex’s best girl buddies was also in the house and yet another girl he had cheated on her with. This left her confused about them. She had a good conversation with the girl she spoke to, but she swears that ex’s gal pal glared at her most of her time there.


Cookies – She described this as an up and coming group. The president or the girl who became president (not sure if she was at this point) was a friend of hers and she liked them a lot. She would have been happy to go back.


Apple Pies – She had friends in this group including a high school buddy. The acquaintance that walked her home and had her spend the night at the house was in this chapter and she had gone on spring break with some of these girls. Needless to say she liked them, but she knew them well enough that she wasn’t sure it would be the best fit (and no, in this case I don’t mean she thought she was too good for them – it was a solid chapter with a good campus rep, and she had too many friends in it to feel that way- although she does own that at the time she was caught up in how the girls in various chapters looked – more on that later – and while the girls in this chapter were certainly cute– they weren’t generally considered one of the “beautiful girl” chapters. She described them as a little outdoorsy and she was not – AT ALL. She wanted to get invited back though.


Root Beer Floats – She had a high school friend who joined this chapter, but they had gone their separate ways freshman year, and she didn’t know anyone else in it, so she had no impression other than she knew they were considered a studious, quiet group which ironically, didn’t describe her high school pal at all. She was quite surprised to find herself talking to someone she immediately recognized as a high school gymnast from Small City. Brooke had been an outstanding high school gymnast , so the girl not only recognized her, she proceeded to treat her like a celebrity which suited Brooke’s inner diva just fine, and they had a great conversation. She left liking the chapter and wanted to return.


Candied Apples – She did not want to go here. It was a popular chapter with the PNM’s and was becoming a top group, but she did not have a good impression of the girls after a year, and yet again there was ex drama (yeah, their relationship had cut a rather large swath over Greek Row). He had brought one of the girls on a couple of date dashes after they had broken up and she had made quite an impression. I’ll leave it at that. Another one was also a friend of his and had made it clear, although she had never actually met Brooke, that she didn’t like her (he had been kind enough to show her the texts she had sent). The girls she spoke to were uhmmm, “cool” to her. She did not expect or want to go back.


Chocolate Strawberries – Nice, academic – beautiful house. Would have been happy to go back, but she knew they were big on grades, and she would get cut. She didn’t really know anyone here either.


The Brownies – Had friends in them at other schools. Didn’t know anything else about them here. No strong opinion one way or another.


The Sorbets – They had a beautiful house and I don’t think there was anything negative about her time there, but she really didn’t know anyone in this house and the conversation was unmemorable. She would have been fine going back – but getting cut wouldn’t hurt her feelings.


The Blueberry Tarts and the LemonBars- I put these two groups together for the moment because for this round they were in the same boat. Both groups struggled some with numbers, and she knew their campus reputation. I would like to say she was above that sort of silliness, but she was not.


I should explain (doesn’t excuse) that Brooke considered herself a B plus in her HS’s social sphere. She did fine, but she wasn’t the center of attention. On the other hand, she found herself very recognizable in college (she was, as she put it, “the tall awkward brunette cheerleader”) and as I mentioned – her social life was usually busy. It was her “big fish in a small pond” moment. Her cheerleading days were over – at least for this year – but she really wanted to maintain that new found status. She definitely felt that getting a bid to certain sororities would help her do that and others would just cement her fall from grace. These would have been in the latter category in her mind.


It wasn’t entirely about that and in her defense she had never met any of the girls in these two sororities, so she assumed they had no shared interests or friends, but that isn’t much of a defense. They could have had scintillating conversations with her (they didn’t), and she wouldn’t have given them a second look based strictly on her superficial standards at this point. She knows this about herself, and she can look back at it all now and realize how ridiculous her attitude was.