Quote:
Originally Posted by lovespink88
Alrighty, lovespink88 needs some tips on how to make an LDR more bearable.
We live a few states away. It's a 2 hour plane ride (15 hour car ride...not gonna do that). We try to flight out as much as possible but I'm trying to save vacay days for the wedding next year and he just really can't take time off, since's a teacher. Flights are also $300-$450 each, so that adds up quickly!
We talk as much as we can but his first year of teaching has proven to be extremely demanding. He's a huge perfectionist and therefore, he's not a quick worker (not that this is a bad thing at all!) Take that and add it to the fact that he's also coaching and he is easily working 65 hours a week. So because of this, our communication from Mon-Thu is limited to a few texts, usually just a few before bed every night. We do usually get to make up for it over the weekend--we'll spend anywhere from 6-10 hours total video chatting over the entire weekend.
Any other tips for what we can do to help ease the pain of the distance? In particular, I'd like to think of things I can do to cheer him up. Yes, I'm down about this too, but I'm thankful that I have my family and friends to support me. He's currently living in a town where he doesn't know a soul, and I can tell the loneliness is getting to him, which breaks my heart.
Here's what we've been doing so far:
- videochatting
- watching movies/TV series together while video chatting (lol, just tried this out yesterday, actually worked pretty well!)
- playing online games together, anything that's multiplayer that we can keep up and still keep video chat going in the background to talk works well
THANK GOD FOR TECHNOLOGY, btw...
I also sent him a care package when he first moved out there and I just bought a bunch of fun cards to send and I'm going to try to send one a week.
People in LDRs (or who have been in LDRs) what did you do to make the distance easier?
|
I've been in them without reliable phone and/or internet access and I could send mail but receiving it was difficult, so it got interesting.
When I was in the field and coming back in a few months I'd send stuff home but also it kept my luggage light. When I was in a town with access I'd always text or call, take a picture with my camera, etc. since our schedules never meshed and my phone was often out of service so he'd send me texts and leave messages I could enjoy at my leisure. I also have arranged with friends back home to make deliveries of cards, notes, little things, on my behalf that I purchased or arranged for them to purchase ahead of time which was really fun since it was a total surprise and I'd have different people do it.
Since you are in contact though, you can send things in the mail, send e-cards, or random texts and pictures if your plan allows it. Or maybe you could both make a goofy kind of "advent calendar" to get through the long periods. Get small things or make little notes, take pictures, get silly and creative then send them to each other to open at set times between visiting each other so you're creating memories at the same time with mementos that will be around to remind each other. You could open them on webcam while having "dinner" together. Find a book you both want to read and have your own private book club, it doesn't have to be new so you could get it from the library for free.
If I remember right, he is in a new city you eventually plan to move to? I know a couple who buy Groupons or Living Social deals for the other and to use when one visits the other. You mentioned he was staying in on the weekend so you could always scope out his new area and see if there is anything related to his interests or hobbies and if it isn't too costly get him a ticket to an event at a park or zoo after hours that features nocturnal animals (horrible example) or even restaurants to try off of yelp so you don't have to eat somewhere crappy if he's scoped it out first
Even though it is 15 hours you could also investigate places in between the two of you could meet on a holiday weekend, as I think you both have straight up interstate to travel on. Other than planes, I'm pretty sure there is a daily train that runs direct and though it is a few more hours than driving one of you could drive part way to meet the other or take trains and meet along the route. Amtrak puts up weekly specials so it is worth checking out though travel can't be done on Friday or Sunday but since he's a teacher his school may plan have a schedule that is more flexible for him to ride a train and for you to meet him.