[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Fortunately, she was able to thrive there. Horror stories like that are becoming much more rare because agencies are being more open and parents are much more educated, but not everyone has the time or patience to see something like that out. Today, people are much more open about what an adoptee's pre-adoption life may have been like so people can make an educated decision.

True.

Adoption is MUCH more open now than it used to be.

Everyone I know who has successfully adopted domestically has some sort of relationship with the birth mom. There's no awkward "you're adopted!!!!" horror story moment because kids are raised knowing birth mom and adopted mom.

The level of openness is typically agreed upon by both parties. One friend has regular email contact with birth mom, sends pics, and has a visit once a month or so. Another actually has developed a friendship with birth mom (who was on drugs when her daughter was adopted, but ended up getting clean, going to school, getting married and having more children.) So they get together fairly regularly.

That type of interaction would have NEVER happened when say, my mom was a teen. They had the stories of girls getting pregnant and "going away" for 9 months. Then coming back after having given up their babies for adoption. No one ever talked about it. They never got to see their kids (until years later when they were adults.) It was all very hush hush and adoptive parents wouldnt dream of speaking to the birth mom. They got the bare minimum of info about the parents because everything was so discreet.