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The morning of preference, I was thrilled to have a full schedule, including my three preferred choices: Ryan, Taylor, and Caitlyn!
In my journal that night, I did not write much, as I was exhausted. (PNMs stay late at the three parties, and then must wait with their rush groups until ALL PNMs have filled out their selections. With incredible indecision, this means a late night.)
But what I remember is that each house made me feel wanted, made me feel honored, and yet each had a unique way of making you feel home.
Ryan was up first. The house was very dark inside, illuminated mostly by candles. PNMs spent most of the party talking with just one sister, and the girl rushing me had a very serious story about how the chapter had come together in the face of a tragedy. The ceremony was solemn, beautiful, and moving. We were reminded that we were loved just the way we were.
Taylor was up next. The house as much brighter, yet still emotional. Pairs of PNMs were taken by pairs of sisters, and the pairs of sisters jointly told a story of their sisterhood and their journey together. This let me get a sense of what other PNM they were interested in, and let me see the sisters interact in a way that is rarely able to be seen in the structured recruitment format.
Finally, Caitlyn, where they made me feel so incredibly loved and wanted, and where the feeling of the party was actually very upbeat and comforting.
I left feeling happy taking a bid from any house. That night, I spent a lot of mental energy going back and forth in choosing my ranks, but ultimately decided to rank:
1)Ryan
2)Taylor
3)Caitlyn
Going to sleep, I was hopeful. By morning, that hope had turned to fear. Memory of the sting of the Round One cuts came back, and I feared rejection all over again. Even if I got my second choice, didn’t that mean that my first choice didn’t want me? That if quota was, say, fifty women, that this meant there were fifty women they wanted more than me? Or even more, if not every women attending prefs at Ryan put them first?
I was not going to be sad about getting a bid at Taylor or Caitlyn... I truly did also want to be in those sisterhoods. It would be an honor and the start of a great journey. But if I didn’t get Ryan...could I handle heartbreak again?
I walked to the Bid Day ceremony filled with a mix of emotions. I could visualize opening the bid card. I knew everything happened for a reason. But I did not have the slightest clue what that bid card would hold.
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