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If your future sister-in-law is really as helpless as you've made her sound, then she might be following those crazy wedding magazine timelines to the T. If it says to have the bridesmaids' dresses ordered by month 8, and she's at month 8 now, she might be freaking out.
If you do decide to remain part of the wedding (which I would because this is important to your brother), then you could just let the bride know that you're larger than you will be at the wedding; with that in mind, you'd like to get fitted for the dress later. She might not know that David's has a lightning-fast turnaround, since I imagine that the magazines she's reading say that the dress will take 8-10 weeks to get back.
She's a young bride--and her reactions might be based more out of nervousness than a desire to be a "Bridezilla."
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