[IndianaSigKap]

I know it's going to be hard to back out, but if you really don't want to be in the wedding let her know now! I was asked to be in a wedding last year and as much as I love my friend, I am just past that stage of life. This was both the bride and groom's second wedding, but they proceeded to have a white dress extravaganza. The wedding was on a Friday night, which was my last day of school, so I knew that was going to be a huge problem. And it was. The bridesmaids came in all shapes and sizes ranging 4-20. No one dress style looks good on the gamut of body types. Instead of choosing a color and dress length and letting us get dresses that flattered, she insisted on matching dresses in teal. Everything that could have gone wrong did: my dress came in wrong, almost didn't come in the second time, I was late to the rehearsal dinner due to traffic after school, couldn't do the bridal party hair appointment/salon visit because of my job, etc. All in all, she and I are not very close anymore. I don't want that to happen to you and your future sister in law. Can you take her to lunch and explain your situation to her? Let her know you want to be there and are happy she's joining the family, but you just can't be in the wedding. I think you'd be better off in the long run. Good luck, it's such a difficult situation.