Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille
Should I get married, anything addressed To "Mrs. [spouse] Doe" is getting thrown in the trash, wedding invitation, lottery winnings or long lost relative's plea for help, doesn't matter, whether my spouse is living or dead.
Naming conventions need to catch up to the realities of modern society. It's why most of the Dear Abby/Ann Landers/Miss Manners sort of thing is just so inapplicable to today. When there's no reason for the 'etiquette' other than 'that's how it's done' we're doing it wrong.
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I agree, naming conventions do have to catch up to today. I've made it clear that we are "Ilsa and Victor Laszlo" or "Victor and Ilsa Laszlo" (I don't care which first name comes first) but NOT "Mr. and Mrs. Victor Laszlo". I am "Ms. Ilsa Laszlo", not "Mrs."
Unfortunately, it seems that, particularly where weddings are concerned, "etiquette" and naming conventions and the like are still stuck in the Dark Ages. I've resigned myself to getting invitations addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Victor Laszlo". However, I've been known to cross out the letter M on the reply card where it says "M_______________ will/will not attend", and write in Ilsa and Victor Laszlo.
I also sign guestbooks that way. Naturally, the thank-you card is still addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Victor Laszlo".
When we sent out our own wedding invitations, if I knew the individual's or couple's preference, I used it. Otherwise, I used the "Mr. and Mrs." form for people of our parents' generation, and the "Ilsa and Victor Laszlo" or "Ms. Ilsa Laszlo" or "Mr. Victor Laszlo" form for people of our generation (aside from a few wedding guests who had doctorates).
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
I have a sneaking suspicion that if that time comes to pass you will make very clear to loved ones or anyone else who may be inviting you to weddings that they ain't getting a cake plate if your invite says Mrs Droleshubby. 
When the person expresses a preference, that ALWAYS trumps the "rules" of etiquette. I think it's more or less always been that way. But if you don't know the person that well, the rules are there to fall back on. |
Exactly - and like I said above, that's what we did with our own wedding invitations.