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No, it's more polite not to, and if you have any hope of salvaging your relationship (I would think there's hope there, one way or another), you don't want to be unladylike. I do hope you can work it out, but I wouldn't have the first idea how to help. If you can't get help locally, you might try the inter/national headquarters. At least then you'll know the rules for sure.
As far as wearing letters, your badge, etc., you shouldn't. I'm surprised they didn't ask for the stuff back, but once you know for sure that it's over (and you can't become an alumna or something), you might give them the t-shirts and stuff you won't be wearing again. I don't know what to tell you about the badge.
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"Traveling - It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller. ~ Ibn Battuta
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