This is how steps are referenced in our legacy policy:
Quote:
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A Theta legacy is defined as a daughter, granddaughter, great-granddaughter, or sister of a Kappa Alpha Theta. Stepdaughters, step granddaughters, step great-granddaughters, and stepsisters are considered legacies if their family considers them as such and if the family asks that they be considered as such on the legacy introduction form. These women deserve special consideration.
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(emphasis mine)
That seems to cover both bases: the step who raised a girl since she was 3 would be considered a legacy, since the family defines their relationship as mother-daughter. It would then exclude the 25 year old step-mother when real dad had his mid-life crisis, since clearly that is not a mother/daughter relationship.
It also better defines the step-sister situation, since again, some of these step-sisters could have grown up together, whereas others grew up across the country with virtually no interaction.