If you believe in karma, there is something in your past lives that still needs to be resolved, and the same person keeps getting presented to you over and over again until you resolve that issue.
To put it in less esoteric terms, you should make a list of the priorities that are important to you, being perfectly honest, and only date guys who meet all of those very important criteria. Don't want to deal with a guy who still lives at home? Don't date him. Not even once. Don't want a lazy douche who spends all of his time high? Easy. Don't. Not even once. If a guys says he doesn't want to get married in an off-hand comment the first time you meet, TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY. Same with having kids, same with moving to Mars.
There's an old (from the 90's or so I think) and freakishly unPC book called
The Rules. Read it. You might get a couple of useful nuggets out of it.
And then I'd spend some time thinking about why you think they're tools. Are they, or are your expectations unrealistic. There are no knights in shining armor out there. But there are plenty smart, successful guys out there who work too many hours, have trouble meeting women, and maybe have goofy hair or glasses.
I don't know how many women I know who talk about their first husband as having been hot and drove an awesome car. And had a coke problem and couldn't keep it in his pants. The second husband (or in a couple instances, the third) is where the friends finally figured it out. I skipped that step by waiting until I was well into my 30's to get married. Or maybe I just got lucky.
