[IrishLake]

I was reading this thread earlier today and I thought to myself "It's a good thing I like my in-laws, though there's been problems, they've been nothing like this. I'm lucky!" Granted they make me batty sometimes, we've always gotten along fairly well.

Now I can't stop fucking crying I'm so upset. My husband just got into a huge fight with them.

FiL lost his job 2 years ago due to economic lay offs. Ever since, he's been depressed, and slowly just keeps slipping into a deeper dark hole. Everyone in the family has noticed. He's in his 60's, but can't afford to retire yet, but no one will hire him because of his age. So he's skating by with odd jobs and unemployment, and he and MiL have been fighting like husband has never seen.

Well, while husband has been in the fire academy in columbus (mon-fri for the past 7 months), he has been living with his parents. He has only been using their house as a place to shower and sleep. He never even studied there, he always went to the library. He chipped in on food (shared whatever he bought, if he used the last of the milk or bread, he bought more, etc). He cleaned up after himself. One thing my husband is not, is a slob or lazy. He's very, very anal retentive about cleaning up.

Well, hubby graduates tomorrow and starts his first day of work on Monday. He will no longer need to live at his parents house. He will come home the 2 days he doesn't work (24 on, 48 off). Plus, we're moving in 3 weeks to be closer to our jobs, so driving long distances will no longer be an issue. Subsequently, we'll be moving closer to the in-laws, about 20 minutes away from them.

Recently things with them have gotten... weird. Out of his 2 brothers, we're the only ones with kids, and the only ones who've ever really been reliable for family stuff. First, last week when talking to his mom about us moving, his mom said "well, don't expect your dad to come down and help you guys once you're moved in. He's said he won't drive that far since gas is so high." Um, ok. We never planned on asking him to come down, even though I work long hours and hubby's future schedule, we could USE the help. But he's become such a cranky old man that he doesn't tolerate the kids very well. I'd never ask him. (Never mind the fact that he willingly drives 20 miles to the other side of the county to mow younger BiLs lawn for him once a week since he works out of town, and that's putting his riding mower on a trailer and towing it 40 miles round trip).

Then, MiL says to hubby on monday, "I don't know if I'll be able to come to your graduation on Friday, I don't think I'll be able to get out of work." Um, what?????? This is something my husband has been working so SO hard for, I couldn't be more proud. MiL has a habit of not being able to say "no" at work and as a result, they walk all over her. And it was a bit of a punch in the gut because when youngest BiL graduated from his fire training, they were there. They were there for the ceremony, they were there the day before when they had a practice fire videotaping and taking pictures. They made sure they were there, and they've displayed his pictures all over their house. BiL has been trying to get on with the Columbus FD, but has never been able to pass the tests. Hubby got on right away. BiL took classes at a community college and works part time at a few townships near where he lives, in addition to his full time construction job. Younger BiL has always been the "favorite" and hubby the stereotypical middle child black sheep.

Well, tonight, the inlaws came home in the middle of a fight. Hubby stayed out of it until it seemingly cooled down. Then MiL went out to their car for something, came back in and said to FiL "Thanks for bringing in the cooler" snarky of course (and this is the sweetest saint of a woman ever). FiL says "Well THAT sonofabitch could have brought it in." and pointed at my husband! WTF??????

Needless to say, shit hit the fan. FiL said that to take the heat off him and drag hubby into their fight. Lots of horrible awful things were said, about me, about hubby, about FiL. Hubby left, took all his stuff with him. Left his house keys there and the last thing he said to FiL was "Do not show up tomorrow. You aren't welcome. And until you apologize and go get help for yourself, you won't be seeing your only grandkids."

So, now they won't be at the graduation. my MiL volunteered to babysit the kids tomorrow night so hub and I could go to the giant graduation party at the union hall sans kids. That's not happening now.

Why can't we just have a normal extended family? All we have is each other to rely on, and it really sucks sometimes. Both of us growing up spent SO much time with our grandparents and aunts & uncles, because our parents were busy working. Our parents were so fortunate to have them. Now, we're trying to survive and work ourselves and pay off debt, but my kids don't have the grandparents or aunts and uncles willing or able (my mom and sister live so far away) to do the same for us. All we heard for years was "when are you moving closer?" and now we'll be closer and it won't matter.

There's a whole lot more, but I'm tired of typing and crying.