[CherrySonata]

ok, sorry! I thought I had to wait every day but if people want me to go faster I will. I have to write and edit the parts but I can still do more than once per day.



I knew when I woke up early to get ready that I hadn't had a call from my RC, so I had to have at least one callback. I was still really nervous, thinking, "What if I only get 2? What if I only get 1?" One of my friend told me, "Even if you only get two, that's still way better than none, right? And besides, no matter what you'll end up joining only one." I was still nervous, though.

We got to our room and sat and waited for schedules. Some girls texted other girls in the room after they got called out, saying that they had a full 8 houses. I was very anxious. Right near the end, I finally got called out and my RC said, "OK, here's your schedule." I looked down at her hand and saw Ruby and Tourmaline.

I didn't care about anything-- just that I was going back to Ruby.

Then my RC gasps and says, "Oh, I'm sorry, that's Emma's schedule," and I feel a plunging in the pit of my stomach.


She hands me my schedule.


I have a callback to Tourmaline.

I have a callback to Topaz.

I have a callback to Peridot.

I have a callback to Obsidian.

That is the end of my schedule.


My RA sends me off and I feel weirdly detached. A part of me actually isn't all that upset; the part of me that was prepared to not be called back to Ruby House. That part is still happy to be going back to a round number of houses. And all the houses that invited me back were ones I ranked high. But then a different part of me was upset about not being invited back to Ruby House. I had felt such a strong connection; I had great grades; I really felt like my conversations went well. I spent the WHOLE year preparing to get into this house! I couldn't believe I hadn't been invited back. Finally I squared my shoulders and got ready for the party. No matter how much I wanted to be in a different house, I couldn't change who had invited me back.

So I had Peridot House first, and I lined up outside. I was between two girls from my group and one whom I was pretty good friends with, "Lauren." She told me quietly that she got invited back to 8 houses, and I instantly bit my tongue and told her that I was happy for her. I felt so upset that I only got invited back to 4 and she got a full schedule. I realize how bratty it sounds, but I really felt upset that she had a full schedule when she was similar in personality to me. I felt annoyed that she got invited back to Ruby House and was excited about it. I couldn't help but feel like I belonged there. But I sucked it up and went into Peridot House with as much of an open mind as I could.

I didn't have a good time at this party, and I knew it wasn't just because I wanted to be at Ruby. The actives I talk to were nice but we didn't have much of a connection. Our conversations were basic, nowhere near as good as the ones I'd had here during Set 1. I just honestly wasn't as impressed today as I had been earlier.

I had a big break until my next parties, so I went home. I started feeling miserable about Ruby House. I just wanted them so badly, and the lackluster party at Peridot House had made me feel like I'd never find a home in a chapter.

I went and met Lauren for lunch, and told her how I was sad that I only had 4 callbacks. She tried to make me feel better, and said that I should stick it out. I hadn't been planning on dropping at that point but I was annoyed. I thought that she'd understand how I felt. I knew I was thinking too much about it now, but I just really wanted Ruby House. I was obsessed with the idea of this unattainable house that felt perfect to me. The girls I knew in the house had great GPAs and were really involved on campus. I didn't want a house that I felt awkward in, and I'd felt so welcome at Ruby House. At this point, I was just feeling upset that they didn't want me when I wanted them so badly. Lauren tells me that she thinks that everything is supposed to happen for a reason and I didn't say anything but I thought, "Big deal! You were invited back to Ruby House! You told me that was your favorite yesterday!"

She told me that she isn't going to join a house she doesn't like, but she could get involved on campus in other ways. I thought that it was reasonable and then I started thinking about why I even wanted to join a sorority. Mainly I wanted to go greek because I didn't have many friends. I really wanted to be in Ruby House because I could see myself being in that family and getting the support I want and need, but I started to wonder if I could be myself there or if I would feel the need to impress them constantly because of how badly I wanted them to accept me. But I had 3 parties left to go to and I shouldn't rush to be judgmental so quickly, especially as I've only seen them on the first day! I felt a little bit better after lunch with Lauren, and went back to my dorm to wait it out until the next set of parties.

So once I realized this, I calmed down a little bit. It wasn't that I didn't want Tourmaline House or Peridot House; I knew that these houses were just as large as the others on campus, and I would be able to find SOMEONE in such a large house I would be able to hang out with. I realized I was just upset at being rejected from the house I had initially liked so much. I tried to remind myself of this, but it is still hard to remember if you're in the moment and feel like you don't want your options.

So, anyway, my next party was Obsidian House, and I lined up with a mixture of wanting to see more about it and not wanting to be there at all. But the party was fun; I enjoyed it and actually did have a really good conversation with an active in the house. Overall, I left this house feeling like I still wasn't quite sure if I fit in, but I felt pretty good about it.

After this party, I had to book it to Tourmaline, as I had a party there immediately after. I ended up being extremely surprised with this house. I got assigned to a girl who was a good four or five inches taller than me, and I had a hard time talking to her. She told me about a lot of her events, and we had a good conversation, except that she was very intent on explaining to me all about her sorority's social events. She glossed over the philanthropy, explaining in very concise terms what they did, and when I asked if the girls were very devoted to it she said, "Yeah," trailed off, and changed the subject quickly. I wasn't impressed but the she started talking about study hours and GPA, which was a bit more impressive to me. So by the end of the party I was basically feeling overwhelmed and not entirely sure what to think about this house. I hadn't 'clicked' today as well as I had during Set 1, but I had learned a lot more about this house and wasn't ready to write it off completely, especially because they seemed to balance schoolwork and recreation, which is important for any college student, not just Greeks.

I had a break and then my last party of the day, Topaz House. I was feeling reluctant to go to this party but I knew it was because I was tired of waiting in the heat, not because I didn't want to visit the house. When I finally got in, the party was very nice, and I really felt a connection with the girls there. I enjoyed learning about the philanthropies and I also had a chance to learn about leadership opportunities in the house, which was really nice and impressed me a lot. I also enjoyed the conversation I had with one particular active, just before I left. By the time I left this house, I was feeling optimistic again. 'Okay, so they aren't Ruby House, but I did enjoy myself there an awful lot...'


I went to do my ranking, where I had to pick my "top 5," then went home. I started thinking a lot about my choices. I was still mourning over my loss of Ruby House, but I finally realized that I admired the strong sisterhood and the dedication to philanthropy in Topaz House-- and I even began to hope for a callback. I started hoping I would get a bid from them.