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So Sophomore year I ended up having a pretty hard time. I wasn't involved in much on campus and didn't have many friends, partnered with the feeling that none of the sororities had wanted me. Instead of joining clubs to overcome my shyness, I became obsessed with the idea of joining a sorority. In one aspect this fixation was good because it motivated me to do better. In a few other ways, it was unhealthy.
The Greek Life Office had kept my e-mail, and in the spring they mailed me about the dates of recruitment for the upcoming semester. I signed up faster than you could say "Panhellenic."
I started fixating on what I hadn't had the last time that might help me this time. I hadn't had very good grades, because of getting sick freshman year. So I worked a lot on my grades, and it paid off. I also hadn't had recommendations, and although opinions were mixed on this, I ended up working my rear end off to get as many as I could. I ended up with recs to more than half the houses. I got a haircut and manicure the week before rush, and made sure I looked presentable. Needless to say, I felt READY to take on rush week. I made 100% sure that I was keeping an open mind before the week started, and consciously tried my best to not let my previous year experience affect this year's. I was going to join a sorority if it killed me!
So I get to campus and move in. There's a few other girls in my hall who were there for recruitment, and a number of other girls in my dorm. I knew theoretically how many girls were going through, but seeing so many girls walking around really made it seem 'more real.' I kept looking at girls and wondering if they would become my sisters, then remembering I shouldn't take for granted that I'd get a bid after what happened last year.
I went to check-in the next morning, and was once again astonished at the amount of girls everywhere. It made me feel a little bad to see them all because they were almost all in groups, and I was walking alone without anyone to talk to. I wished I also had someone to talk to, and it just reminded me of how shy and alone I felt.
Check-in was easy and fast, and much better than the year before. I got assigned my PNM Number and headed for orientation. After the information session, we divided up into our rush groups. I got to know my group and there were a lot of girls in there I (maybe optimistically) thought I could get along with.There was actually a girl, "Lauren," with the same last name as me. Overall I felt really good about my group, and started thinking that maybe this week wouldn't be so bad after all.
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