Why is this such a big source of supposed "misunderstanding" on the part of anyone? A PNM can potentially get a bid from ANY chapter she lists on her preference card. If you'd rather not be in a sorority that potentially have to claim yourself as a NM of Alpha Beta, then don't list them on the pref card. And if you don't get your fave or your second fave, well that's too bad. Buck up and deal. You takes your chances. That's how it works. Simple.
I understand your theory HQWest but I don't think that's really rooted in fact. Even though the majority of PNMs do get a bid from the group they listed as their first preference, there have always been and will always be PNMs that will not get a bid from their first choice. A smaller number will not be placed with their second choice. And all groups, even the most "popular" on any given campus, have NMs who don't initiate for a variety of reasons- financial, time, lack of support from their family or boyfriend, a decision to transfer schools, get involved in other activities or they decide it's just not for them for whatever reason.
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Originally Posted by HQWest
(As an aside, it is just as upsetting to see legacy's mom standing next to her on bid day and saying, "just take it. take it. They are a great group of girls, too." and PNM sobbing and tossing it away, as legacy mom pitching a fit because PNM didn't get a bid to her legacy.)
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Disagree. If you're such a twit that you wouldn't even give the group a chance, you don't deserve to be a sorority member. If my legacy behaved that way, I'd be mortified. While everyone can understand the twinge of disappointment that your daughter did not join your sorority, if you didn't prepare yourself and her for that possibility (heck maybe probability considering the odds) before she signed up for recruitment you did not do yourself or your daughter due diligence.