Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitch
I get that, but if he didn't buy you anything, you'd probably complain about that, too.
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Well, let me contrast him to the guy I dated for a very long time in my 30s. I never received a bought card from him - he MADE every birthday/Christmas card he ever gave me. He got me gifts that might not be traditionally "romantic" (a Beatles t-shirt, a waterfall, a book I wanted) but that meant a lot to me because he knew it was something I really wanted. And when he was out of work one year, he said "honey, Christmas is going to be pretty tight. I really want to be sure my niece who I love to bits gets something nice from me. Do you mind if we just skip it?" Of course I didn't.
Of course a lot of that is a difference in years and maturity...but no, if a guy was dirt poor, I'd rather he didn't buy me anything. I can take care of myself and I want to be with a guy who can do the same - that includes spending your money wisely, not for things you can't afford just because you think it'll impress a woman. I don't date men for what they can give me. If that's what they all believe all women are like, that's their problem, not mine.
I'm not completely against "traditional" gifts like flowers - they're lovely every once in a while - but with this guy, the FREQUENCY was f'ing ridiculous. He was using "bought" things to make up for his shortcomings. Did I mention he occasionally told me he didn't like what I was wearing and asked me to go change? Yep. This might not have fased me a few years later, but in my first relationship, and being VERY VERY sheltered and inexperienced and naive, it's a different story.