[KD4Me]

Ok, so I just re-read my original post, and I see now how it could come across to some that I the purpose of my post was to complain that I hadn't received a thank you note for the rec that I'm writing. That really wasn't my intent. I live in an area with a very active alumnae panhellenic association that provides PNMs with a lot of information about how to prepare for sorority recruitment (sample resumes, examples of how to contact alumnae and ask for recommendations (including specific instructions to send thank you notes for those recommendations), what is appropriate to wear for recruitment (not university specific, but more like not too short, too low-cut, etc.). She had obviously followed all instructions to a tee, with the exception of any sort of acknowledgement or personal note/post-it, etc. to the alumnae (I assume that everyone received a packet identical to mine) writing her recs. It was with this frame of reference that I wrote the post, and I was thinking about how she had obviously spent hours and hours preparing her info packet but overlooked the thank you (or maybe she didn't know to send one, whatever). What I intended was a post reminding PNMs that it is polite to send a thank you for such a courtesy, and to do so. Maybe it will help them get a rec that is slightly better because the writer will think better of them, maybe not. I didn't mean to imply that I was holding anything against her, wouldn't write the rec, that if I send a glowing recommendation she would gain an instant bid, or that any particular part of the country has a monopoly on manners. I certainly have overlooked my fair share of thank-you notes over the years.

Regarding the specifics, I think that it is a good practice for the PNM to send the thank-you a week or two after she sends her packets to the alumnae because it will serve as a reminder that the rec needs to be written (if it hasn't been already) or will bring it to light if a packet has been misdirected in the mail. She shouldn't worry about feeling silly about sending it (a previous post said that she would feel silly sending it if the letter had not been written, like sending a thank you for a gift that hadn't yet been given) because the alumna has said that she would write the letter. Saying, "Thank you for sending a recommendation" works for either a past or future action. That's just how I would do it, though.

Sorry to have created a firestorm. It wasn't my intent!