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Originally Posted by MysticCat
Serious question: What if she decides not to take his last name and instead keeps her own surname? Is she stating to the whole world that she doesn't want to be known as his wife?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil
LOL. This thread is also about GreekGirley learning the history and different meanings behind women taking men's surnames. I respect people who choose to take their spouse's surnames. But, as for me and my house, it's all about hyphens. 
I'm a big fan of hyphenated last names; couples swapping last names; and people keeping their own last name. None of those reduce the bonds of marriage just because they aren't considered traditional. |
My mother didn't take my father's last name and they have been married for 31 years. It hasn't effected their marriage, my mother actually gets annoyed when called Mrs. ______. She tends to correct those who assume that is her name. They thought the hyphen would be too long.
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Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby
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Interesting article. Thanks for posting it. The only time I would disagree would be with heirloom rings. This entire buying new rings and the pressure is ridiculous. I'm not trying to educate everyone on my family's traditions, but one thing I have always really liked is that we pass down jewelry. While the entire, "may I take your daughter's hand in marriage" thing is crap (IMHO), I like the idea of the parent's welcoming in the significant other. My mother gave my brother a family jewel to make into a ring for his wife. My father took one of his grandmother's necklaces to make into a ring for my mother (it was actually cheap this way too since they were broke and my dad had a friend who did metal work). These have been two of the most interesting rings I have ever seen and they work as a wedding band as well.
Not disagreeing with stats or anything, but a rather large portion of my family (ie my parents, older cousins etc) all lived together before they were married. When I decided to move in with my boyfriend, I talked it over with my parents first. While I don't "have a ring on my hand" as someone said before, there has to be an understanding. My wording isn't correct right now, but it is a term my mother used. Back in the day (both my parents are over 60) there was going steady or whatever, but eventually there was an understanding as to where the relationship was going. My grandfather went off to war and while my grandparents weren't engaged, there was an understanding that if he made it back, they would get married. While one don't have to be in a rush to get married, or maybe that isn't one's cup of tea, I think that has to be an agreement. A lease is a contract. Duh. If the relationship isn't long term (or even going to last the length of a six month lease) then you have to double think that. Breaking leases/subletting isn't fun.
Also going back to the OP, shacking and moving in have huge differences. This coming from a girl who just did that switch.