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Old 06-02-2011, 11:56 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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long post alert/

I think the context of this thread is couples that are thinking longterm and at least one person is hoping there will be a marriage, even if it is in the very distance future.

If we were talking about couples that aren't thinking marriage and at least one person isn't even secretly hoping to marry the other person, I'd say cohabitation may work as long as they are old enough and mature enough to share such a big responsibility with a significant other. I would recommend that they think about the logistics of it all (what the future holds, whether they want dependents, economic stuff, property stuff). If they are going into it blind and thinking love conquers all, I'd say spare themselves and everyone else the pain and keep their own living space.

It's funny because I have a friend who has lived with her significant other for about 8 years. We have discussed this topic numerous times over the years and her comments have predictably changed from "I don't want to get married, I just want to shack" to "I've been thinking more about marriage and whether I want children." I just say "uh huh."

On the other hand, I have about 5 colleagues ages 35-60 yo who have significant others, and a few of them have children together, that they've lived with for 10+ years. These people never intended to get married and they haven't waivered. They are considered a cohabitation success story but also could be considered a failure for the sanctity of marriage because they are "playing house."

/long post alert
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