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The most competitive SEC recruitments are probably Alabama and Ole Miss. If you look at their pledge lists for the past few years, you'll see plenty of out of state students so don't worry about that. At Alabama it's almost 50/50.
Do not assume that you need a white dress. If it's Ole Miss, you definitely won't since their recruitment is after Labor Day. Check out the web sites for the school's Panhellenic and also the handbook they will give/mail you. It will have pictures of appropriate dress for each day of recruitment.
And do get a friend of your mother's to write your rec. Your moth can notify the chapter via whatever legacy route her GLO has set up.
And network, network, network for the other recs - teachers, counselors, employers, friends of your parents, folks from church, etc. And when you find someone in XYZ, ask if they know someone in the other groups you need.
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