Quote:
Originally Posted by GreekGirley
If it has had such an effect on him that his entire personality has changed, then I highly doubt he was just forced to sing the Barney song in the cafeteria. He was hazed. The "bad" kind. (not that there is a "good version, but you know where I'm going with this)
It is quite obvious that something traumatic occurred...and let's not play pretend that hazing isn't alive & well in some chapters at some schools. Pretending that it's "not that bad" and shoving it under the table just contributes to the problem. I'm shocked that so many people take this subject SO lightly!
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You really don't know any of this. It's not quite obvious at all.
ETA: You're coming at this from a very NPC perspective, when we don't know what org the OP's boyfriend joined. You don't know what happened, and neither does the OP. For all his/her talk of 'torment' and 'violence' s/he doesn't seem to actually know.
OP's boyfriend's change in behavior is evident, but we don't know the cause, just that there isn't understanding. They need to work it out between them, either through OP doing research as suggested (and s/he didn't respond to Sen with 'oh he's not in a black org' so I'm guessing Sen was pretty on target) or by working on their communication until they manage to understand each other.
A counselor MIGHT be helpful there, but they might not.
Additionally recommending the OP research hazing laws is waaaaaaay out there. That would probably end their relationship, not help it, and even if the boyfriend was hazed, he'd likely deny everything to protect his brothers.
Even when someone IS abused, you don't force them to seek help. And assuming that hazing/abuse happened here is several jumps further than anyone but you is comfortable going.