[SWTXBelle]

In my limited experience, a child is going to express him/herself no matter what - yes, when they are infants you as a parent can dress them how you will, but once they turn 2/3 they will express strong opinions about dress, toys, food, etc. I think good parenting is about being attuned to the child, and encouraging him/her to look beyond stereotypes. You can do that without playing coy with a child's gender. Children need a base from which to start - be it language, their names, clothing, nutrition, religion, etc. It's asking too much, IMHO, to make a 5 year old decide. As they mature they will, as numerous examples show, come to their own conclusions about gender which may or may not coincide with their parents' or society's opinions.