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Originally Posted by 33girl
I'd rather see a greater focus on SAFETY, period, rather than on rape. Doing the latter just puts up barriers between men and women and puts women into the eternal victim role. It's not wise to go alone someplace with ANYONE you barely know. I mean, you never know when a chick is going to go Single White Female on you. Funny reference, but I sincerely mean it. Ditto for men - going somewhere with an unknown man OR woman. Someone doesn't have to have half a foot & 200 lbs on you to do things to you (after drugging you) that will mess you up.
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Most rape isn't stranger rape. Placing the focus on safety puts the responsibility on the victim. "Well why was she with him, she should have known better."
And finally,
DISCUSSING RAPE DOES NOT DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN, RAPE DRIVES A WEDGE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN.
Wanted to make that perfectly clear.
/yes, victims come from all genders, but women are the primary victims and the most affected by rape. They are also affected by the rape culture that started this thread in a way that most men are not.
ETA some wiki stats:
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In reality, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, 38% of victims were raped by a friend or acquaintance, 28% by "an intimate" and 7% by another relative, and 26% were committed by a stranger to the victim. About four out of ten sexual assaults take place at the victim's own home
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Do we address 1/4 of rapes by focusing on strangers, or 100% of rapes by focusing on consent, and punishing offenders rather than letting them off with a boys will be boys.
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Contrary to widespread belief, rape outdoors is rare. Over two thirds of all rapes occur in someone's home. 30.9% occur in the perpetrators' homes, 26.6% in the victims' homes and 10.1% in homes shared by the victim and perpetrator. 7.2% occur at parties, 7.2% in vehicles, 3.6% outdoors and 2.2% in bars.
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If 37-40% of the time you're at home, does that really count as 'going somewhere' with someone you don't know?
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U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics (1999) estimated that 91% of rape victims are female and 9% are male, with 99% of the offenders being male.
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As I said, the wedge was already driven. Not talking about it is just playing pretend.
College Campuses and Rape
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43% of college men admit using coercive behavior to have sex, including ignoring a woman’s protest; using physical aggression; and forcing intercourse; 15% acknowledged they had committed acquaintance rape; 11% acknowledged using physical restraint to force a woman to have sex.
34% of completed rapes and 45% of attempted rapes take place on campus. Almost 60% of the completed campus rapes that take place on campus occur in the victim's residence, 31% occur in another residence, and 10% occur in a fraternity.
3/4 of off-campus rapes and 7/8 of on-campus rapes involved perpetrators who were known to the victims.
78% of the men identified (as rapists) were an acquaintance, friend or boyfriend of the victims.
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We need to be teaching men about consent, teaching them not to be rapists, and punishing them when it happens.