[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

It took everything in me to tell you that I considered that judgmental and labeling. Thanks for not making me feel worse than I already felt for telling you that.

This is about gender socialization which translates into family and parenting processes. Women are more likely than men to be socialized to believe that parenting should be the defining aspect of their identity. It is very easy to lose yourself in something that you have done for so long, that you are so proud of, and that society at large has told you that you should immerse yourself in. People do that with their careers all of the time. I don't see why people see that as less ridiculous than losing yourself in parenting. The average person is a (insert occupation/education level) when you meet them and you often have to say "okay...that's what you got a degree in and do for a living...what do you enjoy when you aren't doing that" for them to go beyond what they consider to be their crowning glory.

Beyond that, this topic really isn't about the extremes of helicopter parents and parents who don't know who they are without their children (although remembering who you are without your children can also be difficult for more "full-time parents"). There are parents who are proud parents, first and foremost, but have a sense of balance with the help of others. It can't be done alone.

All very good points. And for the record, I also try very hard to guard against being the dad/husband/person who is defined by his work. It's a discussion my wife and I have had many times -- how part of how we (try to) parent well is by (trying to) model a balanced life for a our kids. I had parents who modelled it well.

I don't "celebrate" Lent but I am also working on my judgmental ways, among other things that are not pleasing in God's sight.

I don't "celebrate" it either; I "observe" it.

But otherwise, yeah.