My reply will not add much new to the mix, except for my story. I was a very involved undergraduate, then served a year as a leadership consultant. My first professional position was in a town 40 miles from the collegiate chapter I worked to create, and for the next four years I served as an adviser. (Hi, Carnation!
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I took a job in another state, in a town where there was a collegiate chapter. (In fact, I'd visited it during my consultant year.) I looked forward to helping with that chapter. Not so! They had two advisers (alumnae of that chapter) who didn't want anyone else involved. I was invited to one IRD (=founders' day) in the 2-1/2 years I lived there. (The bright spot of my sojourn in that job/that town was that I met and married my husband.)
I served on two AGD international committees during those seven years.
We moved to Maine; no collegiate chapter anywhere near. A few alumnae met for lunch, which was nice. I tried starting a regional alumnae group (Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont) which had two IRDs, both very nice occasions.
We moved to another state, to a college town where there was a very strong collegiate chapter and a very strong alumnae club. Also very chapter-centric. (I remember one alum saying that she was moving to another state, mourning that "there are no Alpha Gams there." I looked in the directory and found about two dozen Alpha Gams. They just weren't the same chapter.) That chapter welcomed me and I served as finance adviser for four years. I still get their alumnae newsletter.
Since 1998 I've lived at some distance from an undergraduate chapter. I joined the alumnae club immediately and I pay dues every year. However, it is based 35 miles away and it meets the same night as my P.E.O. chapter. My schedule is quite full as I "welcome the opportunity of contributing to the world's work in the community where I am placed because of the joy of service thereby bestowed and the talent of leadership multiplied" with AAUW, P.E.O., Rotary, various community organizations, and professional associations.