Quote:
Originally Posted by Macintosh
Sorry if this question has been answered multiple (upon multiple) times:
TL;DR:
- Don't smoke
- Don't drink
- Family member is in a prominent position at the institution
Did these make me a weak candidate for getting into the fraternity, or was it not knowing enough brothers? Also should I re-rush and attempt again?
Long story:
I entertained joining this fraternity but they only did spring pledging this year. During the fall I went to their mixers, their community service projects and even some of their luncheons. During the process I didn't smoke or drink during the parties but I still socialized as well as talk to their brothers about the pledging process, getting to know about 50% of the members. After doing that I went to their formal rushes, after doing their formal rushes, I started to ask how the bid process was to one of their brothers. As soon as he was done explaining, he asked where I lived and I said that I lived inside the honors dorm. After that, I did not receive a bid. Now all throughout this time, I kept asking questions about the process, what drew them to the fraternity and what I needed to know in order to pledge (as well ask asking them directly about what happens during pledging). Some people said that becuase of me being nosy as well as not doing the "social" things, I didn't get the bid.
Another person suggested this scenario:
Let's say that I did pledge, and then I did quit because I hated the pledging process. If they did something extremely wrong, I would immediately run to said family member, rat them out, and then have the fraternity dismantled.
So I went to ask why I didn't get a bid:
I was told that there were enough brothers that did not "know" me and that they decided not to give me a bid. He said that if they have a fall class or next spring, I could get a better picture. The kicker: They gave out 19 bids. My question is this: Should I take it as face value that I didn't get to know the brothers in the fraternity and that's why I didn't get the bid OR is it because of my other attachments that the fraternity turned down my bid? Also should I reattempt that fraternity, or is that gut feeling (one way in-out door) the right feeling?
I know this question has probably been asked thousands of time, and I did some searches on the advance search before asking this question.
Thanks.
Also, if you want to know the institution, I'll PM it to you as well as the fraternity I was looking at.
Finally, if you need to move this thread, move it Fraternity Recruitment.
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The bolded confuse me and don't add up. I'll assume you're being truthful/honest/not a troll.
Don't know your school/greek life climate (whether this is a big chapter, whether the fraternity has a prominent history at your campus etc...) so I can't speculate on whether this is normal on your campus.
Generally, brothers are looking people that would be a good fit for the chapter, people they can hang out with, have fun with and people they can consider brothers for life. I don't know how you socialized with the group, but if you said you met most of the members you might have been forgettable. Or you met members as in you said Hi to someone once and that was it.
The fraternity might have gotten the impression you were a wet blanket since you don't drink. If you don't party, there are some groups who wouldn't accept you because you wouldn't fit in. Like I said, I have no idea if this is the case at your school.
Your family member in a prominent position could have also been a negative. If they hazed or did questionable things, they might have thought you would run and tell mommy/daddy.
You might have said something you thought was funny but pissed off some of the guys. In some groups, it only takes a couple people who don't like you to make you not get a bid.
They might have thought you were annoying by hanging around so much.
They might have thought you thought you were better than them (see KSUViolet06's post).
Do you see where I'm going? We have no idea why they didn't give you a bid but can speculate all day as to why. None of my answers could have been the real reason, only the fraternity knows. The guy told you why you weren't given a bid, so you have to take what he said at face value.
We don't know any more than you.
You also only rushed one fraternity who just might not be a fit for you. Why didn't you consider other groups?
You come across really smug with a high opinion of yourself in the post. If that attitude reflects real life, I probably wouldn't vote for you to receive a bid to my group.