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Gut feeling's usually the right feeling.
Here's the thing: most successful fraternities do value academics and limits, but you have to be a good fit for the group.
It's OK to not drink as long as you don't look down on others for drinking or hold a pretentious attitude about it. The same applies for smoking.
Likewise, it's actually great to have solid academics, but it's not cool when you flash the card as if you're better than everyone else. Saying "honors dorm" sounds kind of pretentious; I imagine there would have been some more appropriate way to put it (eg. ... Hall).
The part about not enough people knowing you may also be true; perhaps you weren't being social enough to meet everyone during rush.
However, it all comes down to: the most important part is that you fit in. People have to like you for you to fit in. Just because you're a legacy doesn't mean that you're a shoo-in.
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