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I think it is fine to miss a meeting if you have a legitimate reason. I also think we don't know how the OP's pledge coordinator phrased this to the new members. The chapter may not have had concrete dates in mind. Or perhaps they did. That being said, the girls I knew in college who missed the mandatory pledge ceremony (meaning it was rescheduled a few days later for them) were girls who dropped out either before initation or shortly thereafter.
ETA: If you're asking us if it is ok to miss that first meeting/pledge initation, that must mean you know it really isn't ok. Go with your gut.
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