[Drolefille]

I think you're over thinking it, on the individual level, do you really think this guy would be happier with you guys?

On the org level, what if it was your fraternity that had a pledge "poached." What would your reaction be? Would you be pissed and vow to prank revenge the other fraternity forever? Would you shrug and get over it because obviously that guy didn't want to be in your fraternity anyway? (And be honest, no "That wouldn't happen because we're awesome") You state you'd feel bad, but that's not enough.

If you think the guy would be happier with you guys, and you would NOT flip out if the same happened to you then vote and present him with the option. Alternatively make a decision and wait to see if he drops. If he drops and then you bid him rather than offering him the bid so he'll drop, you're not poaching in the same way as long as you don't promise him the bid should he quit.

Don't worry about "Nick" in this picture unless he DOES quit and asks you the same question. Don't base your answer on Matt on the assumption that you'll get Nick too. And I'd recommend sending something to the other fraternity stating that you were approached, not the other way around.

/just my 2 cents.