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I understand not wanting to follow up with each individual but it might be worth talking to her mother at least and saying "I haven't heard from x, y and z, have they mentioned whether they are coming?" I know in my family, if someone mentioned they were coming to the honoree's mother, they'd consider that an RSVP, even if they didn't RSVP to the hostess herself and they'd think "Well they KNOW I'll be there"
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