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I think it is absolutely practical to pre-use the flower girl dress. If nothing else, it sets a healthy precedent that you don't wear something once and discard it AND she will need to take care of this dress because it needs to be worn again. And I'd be taking that dress straight to the consignment shop upon its second use. Maybe you can split the "profits" with your daughter as a reward for being careful in the dress.
I'm glad BiL came to his senses, regardless of the method.
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