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SOOO sorry for leaving everyone hanging! It was definitely not my intention to drag it out this long, but that pesky college thing got in the way. With midterms conquered [oh hey there first college A =)] and after getting over a very persistent sinus infection I PROMISE that this tale will be finished in the next 24 hours! Again, I'm so sorry and thank you all for reading my story! And now I give you...
ROUND 4: PREFERENCE NIGHT
The night before pref my phone rang. It was a local area code but I didn’t know the number. In the span of 5 seconds about a million things went through my head. Was this “the call”? Had I been dropped from recruitment? My rho gammas had assured us repeatedly that this happened to less than 1 percent of girls last year and it really wasn’t something we should be worried about. But still. I had of late been of the “if it’s going to happen to anyone, it’s going to happen to me” attitude. But I had both of my rho gammas phone numbers programmed into my phone. They would be the ones calling me wouldn’t they? On general policy I don’t answer numbers I don’t know. If it’s important they’ll leave a voicemail. So I hit the reject button. And then I freaked out. I held my breath for two minutes but no voicemail appeared. Now I felt silly, what if they were calling from an office phone somewhere or someone else’s cell? No I told myself. This was simply acute paranoia. I didn’t need to be freaking out. I needed to be asleep. I waited 35 minutes or so and then finally sent a text to Darkwing asking what time we needed to meet up tomorrow. I figured if she replied I was safe. It took far longer than usual but she got back to me. She said she’d send a text about the schedule in the morning since we all had slightly different start and finish times for the night. Oh thank the Lord. I was safe.
Today was Monday, which meant going to class and trying to function like a normal person. Hah. Yeah right. I felt like it was impossible to take two steps around campus without hearing someone talk about rush. My last class of the day was at 3. Before I left I checked in with Huey. Since I had finished so early the day before I hadn’t heard about where we were meeting or what time. She told me where and that she thought we’d be meeting at 4:30, but wasn’t sure. Oh goodness. I had class until 3:50. Which would mean hauling butt back across campus to my dorm, throwing on a dress and heels and doing my makeup, and getting back to almost where I had been before in 40 minutes. Oy vey. If I had heard this earlier I might have gone to class dressed up, but as it were I was already walking out the door. I still hadn’t heard from Darkwing. I was about to text her, but she beat me to it. Even though we could only attend a maximum of 3 parties, there were 4 time slots to help space things out. There were still A LOT of girls. Her text said that some of us would be starting on the first party at 4:30 and some would be starting about an hour after. She said she’d send separate individual texts to let us know which party we were starting on. I waited but it didn’t come before I got to class. A few minutes in I snuck a glance at my phone under my desk: Party 1. Of course. I was abnormally silent in class and when the time was over I BOOKED it out, garnering some strange looks from my professor and other students as I more or less bulldozed over people.
I’d had my dress picked out for ages, a relic from one of my earlier high school dances. It was deep purple with a “baby doll” cut and a pleated skirt. I threw on a black sweater over it because, well you know, I live in Oregon now and going out without layers and something manufactured by North Face sends me into withdrawal. I was a little nervous about walking across campus in a dress and heels but I shouldn’t have bothered: the second I stepped outside of my dorm I was absorbed into a mass migration of peep toes, pumps, and pearls. I blended right in. I had brought along a pair of flip flops to walk from place to place just as I’d been doing all week. Inwardly I shook my head and smiled at the flocks of girls trying to walk a quarter of a mile in 8-inch stilettos. They were in for a long night. Today we met outside on a different part of campus. It was hard to gauge how many of my group remained since our start times were staggered, but by this time I more or less recognized all the faces and was curious to see if any of these girls could end up being my future sisters. Receiving my schedule wasn’t particularly climatic for me:
Glinda
Auntie Em
I noticed that Darkwing looked at me more than usual, seemingly trying to gauge my attitude. She seemed cautious, as if expecting me to be in tears, and I realized that she had probably been keeping a supportive eye on me all week, much to my oblivion. Recruitment taught me one thing for certain: rho gams are pretty freaking awesome people. However she didn’t need to worry about me, I was still totally happy with my schedule. Apparently this was not the case for most other people. While nearly everyone still had a full schedule, many girls in my group had lost their favorites after the last round. Some handled it with grace, while others…didn’t. One standout was a girl I’d first talked to at orientation. I honestly try my hardest not to judge others on appearance. But I was very certain that somewhere along the way this girl had become confused and done something to switch the color of her hair and skin: the former was the brownish orange that only comes from one [or in this case probably 6] bottle[s] of fake tanner, while her hair was the shade of blonde one associates with lemon juice. Whenever I saw her, in or out of recruitment, she always wore at least 3 inch heels and carried not one, but two designer purses on her shoulder. She had bee stung lips and probably would have been quite pretty had she not been engaged in a love affair with product. For all intensive purposes and perhaps obvious reasons I’m going to call her Snookie. Before schedules even got handed out Snookie had been bitching up a storm about how she ONLY wanted to be a Toto. She was upset that other houses which she didn’t like kept inviting her back. The one she attacked most viciously was Auntie Em. Once again I kept my mouth shut, it wasn’t for me to argue with her. The rho gammas were well aware of the situation and told her to keep an open mind and that she could discuss her options with them at the end of the night if she wanted to. Once again: freaking awesome people. I set out in a group for my first house, Glinda, and as it happened Snookie was going to the same place. As we walked I heard her say to another girl, “I just can’t like believe they [Auntie Em] invited me back again. I just really like don’t want to have to go there tonight. It’s so not fair. I’m just going to be a total a**hole to them.” The girl she was talking with was a little wisp of a thing, definitely not a mean person, but someone who clearly found it easier to agree with others than contradict them. I was surprised when she nodded though and said that it was a good idea. At this point, after days of listen to ungrateful brat after ungrateful brat I hit my breaking point. I was walking only a little in front of them and said something along the lines of, “That is an absolutely terrible thing to do. Even if you don’t like the house, these girls put a ton of effort into getting ready for these events and were kind enough to invite you. If you don’t feel a connection then it’s ok to gently tell someone that and you don’t have to put them on your pref card. But there is NO REASON to be rude to them.” Snookie and friend seemed totally shocked by the idea of openly communicating with a rusher. I clarified that communicating didn’t mean telling someone outright that you hated their house, but Snookie seemed to be off in her own world and the rest of the walk went by mostly in silence.
Because silly ironic twists were a trend of my recruitment process I stood next to Snookie in line outside of Glinda. I figured that I had already been labled “the girl with a stick up her butt” in her head, and her total disregard for other people’s emotions had left a sour taste in my mouth. So I was surprised when she turned around and struck up a conversation with me, asking if I’d had a recruitment and if I was interested in Glinda and seemed totally oblivious to the fact that she had really offended me before. I think I mentioned earlier that I’m incapable of feeling negative emotions for an extended period of time, and likewise I’m prone to my change my first impressions of people. I realized that it wasn’t as simple as labeling this girl as a shallow brat. She wasn’t cruel hearted in the least. Like me she was genuinely interested in finding a home and people to call family. She was just immature. This was the kind of girl the Greek system would do wonders for. As I marveled over how many impressions I’d made and seen change over a few short days the line grew quiet and everyone straightened up as we prepared to go inside.
GLINDA: I had some high expectations for the night. I was going into this round with a clear cut favorite in Auntie Em, but I’ve read enough recruitment stories to know that pref is often a game changer for people. Thus far I had liked Glinda but never loved it. I should probably mention that I have almost never had to agonize over a major decision in my life: I decided to attend Oregon my junior year and relaxed during senior year as other girls bit their nails over college decisions, while my classmates are desperately trying to find their passions and declare a major, I’ve known mine for ages and came into college pre-declared. Overall this has been a blessing. But as silly as it sounds, I WANTED to agonize over this decision. Mostly I think I just wanted to feel like I’d really had a part in a decision, that I’d had two great houses interested in me and I’D made the decision. Again, I know, a little silly. Entering the house tonight was different as we were called in individually by our names. I got frustrated as girls chattered to each other and the actives were almost impossible to hear. I was taken inside alone. I’d met my rusher on philanthropy day, she was the girl who came come over during the craft that I’d preferred to my actual rusher. We sat down at a table with food and took a minute to see if it was ok to eat, which it was. The conversation was awkward. She didn’t remember if she had met me or not this week yet, for which I couldn’t blame her at all. She asked me about high school and my hometown, and really all the same things that I’d been asked about a thousand times by this point. We talked about the sport I’d played in high school for awhile but there was certainly no “spark”. The food was good, I don’t want to go into details about it lest I somehow give the house away, but in any case I’m not entirely sure what it was anyways. It was interesting, but I definitely didn’t love it. Which was about how I felt about the house thus far. After a few minutes the president announced that we would be hearing some speakers and I was excited, I’d heard all about the emotional speeches and songs associated with pref. Some people hate warm and fuzzy displays of emotion. I eat them up. Unfortunately for dinner we had been spread across a few rooms, but to see the “stage” we needed to cram into one. It was an extremely tight fit and hard to hear with all the chattering. The president spoke first, and then the VP of membership. One girl spoke about how much the sorority had meant to her over the years. A group of women got up to sing a cappella and it was lovely. Each speech was sincere and well written, but it didn’t hit home with me at all. I recognized that these girls truly loved their chapter which was something I wanted to find in a house, but we just didn’t seem to be on the same frequency. In between every presentation the actives seemed unsure whether to remain silent or continue conversations. Towards the very end my rusher asked about music and for lack of a better description I told her that I listened to a little of everything. She asked about a seemingly random band, the Kooks, who as it turns out are one of my very favorites. This led to a solid conversation which was unfortunately cut short by the end of the party. My rusher was quite nice, but didn’t seem sad to me go by any means. I left knowing that I’d accept a bid here if I received one, but barring absolute disaster at Auntie Em, it was still a solid second.
AUNTIE EM: I headed over to Lion in a group, talking with the girl who had gone to my middle school. She had the same schedule I did, with the same favorite going into the last party. It was funny, to see a list of our interests or to even see us standing next to each other you would have never guessed that we’d have fallen in love with the same house for the exact same reasons, but knowing that Auntie Em appealed to more than one kind of girl endeared it to me all the more, and the idea of ending up sisters with someone I would have forgotten otherwise seemed a nice twist of fate. The line outside of the house was utter and absolute chaos. I thought hearing Snookie speak earlier would have been the height of my frustration with other PNMs, but this took the cake. Left and right girls were showing up late. Some for honest mistakes, some for a lack of caring. No one was sure if we should line up by number or not. Next to me Snookie was having a conversation with a familiar face, a girl from my hometown who had briefly attended my high school before transferring elsewhere. I didn’t have any particular thing against the girl but we were night and day for sure. As Sookie once again renewed complaints that she didn’t want to be here, only at Toto, this girl joined her in whining. Snookie asked where she was hoping to end up. “My first choice is Lion,” she said. Of-freaking-course it is I thought. On the front steps of the house one poor rho gamma was trying to reign us in as the others hurriedly ran up and down the line checking people in as they showed up late, being far more tolerant of their oblivion than I could have been. Seriously, rho gammas are vastly underappreciated. It was obvious that we were running late and the rho gam up front was nearly pulling her hair out and having a panic attack as she called roll and called for silence. I was appalled at how little respect other PNMs showed. I just wanted to go give the rho gam a hug. Eventually, with much effort, final roll was taken and near silence was achieved. I had heard that your rusher for preference is often someone you’ve usually met earlier in the week and I held my breath waiting for my name to be called. I was thrilled to hear it from the rusher I had been with on philanthropy day. Walking into the house felt like coming home and speaking my rusher with was like talking to someone I’d known for ages. We sat down to eat right away. Pasta. PASTA. PASTA! I swear to God, if it hadn’t already been my favorite it would have been just for that. The dorm food at Oregon is good, but why they can’t whip up a batch of spaghetti once in a while is something that has continued to baffle me and had been the cause of much whining in recent weeks. And it was good pasta too. I smiled the entire time I was chewing, no easy feat. The conversation was as good as the food. Even though it went against better judgment I found myself talking to my rusher like she was a good friend and telling her how many other girls had thrown hissy fits their schedules. I regretted saying it instantly, but she didn’t find it strange at all and just rolled her eyes commenting, “It’s the same way it is with boys: if they don’t want you then why are you going to waste time wanting them?” We went upstairs afterwards to what had been my favorite room in the house. I could overhear other groups having serious conversations about the house, meanwhile we continued to talk like old friends, about religion and diversity and the peculiar ways our parents had met. Eventually we went downstairs and had a small ceremony where the VP of membership and some other members spoke, followed by a song and a small ritual. Everything they said really resonated with me and even though other girls were clearly very touched also, I had to fight not to be the geek crying. I really really loved it here. Before I left my rusher told me that she hoped I made the best decision for me but that she really hoped it would be there.
I walked back to campus in a herd and found the recruitment staff to fill out my pref card. Before handing them to us the panhellenic president talked to us about what signing a pref card meant, that we were bound to whatever sorority gave us a bid for the next year if we chose not to accept it. I saw other girls struggle with their decisions. It was easy peasy lemon squeezy for me.
1. Auntie Em
2. Glinda
With that I went home, knowing that everything was out my hands and in a few short hours, my home would be decided. However, it was going to be a long day and night before I found out which chapter I would be calling home…
Song in my head: Almost Home- Hem
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