I don't know how much I have to add to the excellent advice already here, but here are my thoughts...
My husband pinned me about a year before we were officially engaged. He NEVER asked me once to take off my AGD badge and wear his instead. (Maybe because he knows I would have served his head on a platter *LOL*). I always wore them both together.
I guess my point is that his 'my way or the highway' attitude really bothers me. If he knows how very much your letters mean to you, he would never ask you to put them away! He should be trying to find a way to make BOTH of you happy, not 'laying down his law.'
You can go ahead and tell me to mind my own business, but sweetie, think this over. If he is having a hissy fit over a gold charm--however much it means to him--think about all the REALLY important things that the two of you will have to face as a couple over a lifetime. Jobs. Houses. Babies. If he won't compromise over a lavaliere, what else will he refuse to compromise on?
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