Quote:
Originally Posted by sherrybaby
my point is, a lot of these posts sound like they are certain that the OP must belong in this sorority simply because they extended her a bid. I know even in my limited experience, this isn't always the case. Struggling chapters (in terms of numbers) sometimes are not that discerning and might extend bids to any girl who doesn't seem totally 100% wrong. I'm sure this has worked out in many cases, but let's at least recognize that it happens. Bottom line, none of us were at these parties, none of us know what she felt. Let's not assume that because she is a younger than a lot of the people on this board that she doesn't know what she feels. Yes, tons of girls end up loving sororities they were unsure about, I know plenty people like that, but the key word is unsure. Usually the ones who end up loving a house had mixed feelings, not a uniform feeling of not feeling comfortable at all.
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The problem with this line of reasoning is that struggling chapters (if indeed DEF is one) often do not "shine" in a formal recruitment setting. I think most people that have been through formal know what I'm talking about; these girls would not be the best at bumping (if they do it at all), maybe have to double/triple rush girls, don't have the most polished recruitment conversation skills (because recruitment is certainly a very specific kind of setting and conversation), etc. If that's what she meant by not comfortable, then my advice to her would be please, please, stick it out and get to know the girls for real, in a more relaxed setting. They may be the exact kind of sisterhood that you're looking for, just maybe now the girls that wow you in 20 minutes through matching outfits, perfect hair, and on point conversations.
However if she meant that she didn't feel comfortable for other reasons and those are legitimate concerns to her, maybe their sisterhood isn't what she is looking for. These would of course be personal, but we're just trying to encourage her (especially because she cannot go through recruitment again until next year) to give this sisterhood a try until before initiation, at which point she can make a more informed decision. Most all of us have been there and remember how emotional recruitment can be, how people are making decisions based on practically nothing, and how easily one can be influenced by their peers. This is why I believe that the recruitment process favors the sorority's wishes (on the whole), because we know our sisters. You may think that you're a great fit after meeting 3 women, but we know all of our sisters, and we know if you'd be a good addition overall.