Quote:
Originally Posted by letssingit
Has anyone else on here been in the position of thinking about dropping/depledging their sorority? I'm about 3 weeks from initiation, and I've started to think long and hard about whether or not I should go through with initiating. A bit of background info:
I went through rush as a sophomore at a competitive school. When it came time to rank on pref night, I agonized over the decision between 1 and 2, because I liked them both. In the end I went with chapter XYZ, and was lucky enough to recieve a bid the next day. I was so excited on bid day, having wanted to be Greek my entire freshman year and loving (so I thought) the house I had gotten into. However, it's gone downhill from there. I'm really just not bonding with the girls in my chapter. Don't get me wrong, they're all sweet, wonderful girls, but something just isn't clicking. The girls I had talked to and liked during rush are never around, and when I do see them it's just a quick hi before they go about their day. I'm a little over a month into pledging and I still feel like I'm making small talk every time I go to an event. I've read a lot of threads about this on Greekchat where girls just don't seem to be trying, but I feel like I really am. I go to every meal at the house, chapter, philanthropy, invitation out, etc that I possibly can (unless I have a test or something), always go into the house with a smile on my face and talk to whoever's around, and have invited girls to do things. At this point my pledge class is super close and everyone's in their group, and I'm left feeling left out and not entirely sure what I'm doing wrong. I'm terrified that I made the wrong decision on pref night or somewhere else during rush, and would have fit better in another house. However, I'm realistic about my chances during rush next year as a junior who's a drop liability, even if I have friends in a couple of houses pulling for me. I'm just not sure what to do at this point. I still would love to be in a sorority, as I love all of the ritual of it: the philanthropies and announcing and chapters and opportunities, and I would die for the amazing bond that so many girls have with their sisters, but I don't want it at the price of feeling left out and disconnected everytime I walk into the house. I'm left with a choice: should I drop now, and risk never being Greek? or should I stick it out, and hope that things eventually get better? I know that you guys probably can't do much for me without knowing the situation personally, but I'm the first in my family to go Greek and none of my friends are having this problem with their chapters, so I'm just not sure where else to turn :/
If anyone has any sort of advice, it'd be much appreciated  |
It may sound trite, but put in an effort to "love the one you're with". You may be going through the motions, but you have this mindset that you're "left out". You'd be surprised at how much your thoughts can actually create or affect your environment. If the smile you're putting on your face is fake, everything else about you will contradict it.
Obviously, this chapter was 1 of your top 2 picks for some reasons. Find those things that inspire you, that you love about the girls and the chapter. Find your passion in the chapter. There are likely so many opportunities for involvement and personal satisfaction. Sometimes, they aren't so obvious.
Good luck with your decision. Some may say that it's a very luxurious problem to have - in other words, many girls didn't get their 2nd choice, or perhaps any choice. You longed to be Greek, and this is probably your last shot. If you really don't think you belong, then make the decision. Unfortunately, there isn't much advice we can give to help you make it.