[Lightning Bug!]

I agree that it is chapter business. QFP to have evidence of whatever negative thing you think I said was rather unnecessary. Nor was I speculating that this chapter, wherever and whatever it is, had cokeheads in it. I was talking more broadly about the conditions in colleges and the Greek system that could inspire posts like the OP's, although obviously it is filtered through her daughter and there is no telling how true or false it is. But in my experience as a teacher, I find it useful to give people some explanation about why my answer is "Yes" "No" "Maybe" or "It depends." The more people embrace the complexity of these situations, the better they can understand human behavior. The correct answer is, of course, yes, butt out, Mom, and that is exactly what I said in my post. I just added some explanation and extra details to help Mom understand that her emotional reaction, in wanting to help her daughter, is perfectly normal, as may be the daughter's own apprehensions, depending on what the "real" situation is. Validating people's feelings goes a long way, especially when you are about to tell them that their choices are wrong, I feel like that is a better way to help people understand why the "correct" answer is what it is. And seriously, this does come from a teaching career in which I've had much better success with this approach than just laying down the law without any explanation. So that is why I had so much commentary in my post rather than just saying "Butt out," even though I agree that this is the right answer. I do understand that you all feel that giving any explanation is inappropriate, whether or not it is a good teaching moment, but I do respectfully disagree, since I was speaking in the abstract rather than about this particular chapter, which I don't even know actually exists.

My two cents, but I know that voices like this are not welcome here, so I will back out, apologize for breaking any unwritten forum rules, and wish you all well.