[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I tend to agree with this too.

Many times, when PNMs come here and ask "what happened?" we are only presented with that PNM's "tangibles" if you will.

Ex: When Suzy posts about not getting a bid, she mentions that she has a 3.9, was involved in 3 clubs, etc.

That's great, but we don't get a picture of how Suzy behaved in the parties and in her interactions with sorority members.

You could be great on paper (really, a lot of women who pursue sorority membership are) but just don't come across well in conversation.

Sorority women at most schools are presented with hundreds of girls who on paper, look like girls that any chapter would be glad to have. So that's usually not what gets you an invite.

If a chapter has one invite left and it's between 2 girls who are equally awesome in grades, involvement, etc. the girl who gets it is likely going to be the one:

*who PRESENTS herself best in person
*comes across as someone that the active members could potentially SEE themselves interacting with on a regular basis.
*didn't force the active to maintain the convo (and kept the convo going).
*who presented herself as interested in hearing what members had to say (not yawning, going on and on about being tired, etc)

So Suzy might feel like "I had x, y, and z things, why didn't they want me?" when they don't truly know that your tangibles are really just one piece of the puzzle.

This also means that when presented with a girl who has a perfect GPA, valedictorian, 3 clubs, who was totally flat conversation wise, she might get passed over for Girl B with the 3.3 who played softball for 3 years because she was nice, fun, and seemed to really enjoy talking to people.

This seems like a long drawn out ramble to me but it made sense in my head, I swear.

It does make sense. It reinforces what my mom always told me-if you ACT like you're someone everyone wants to know and they'll think you are. (Act confident and everyone will think you are...and as a result, you'll be confident.)