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Nerve-wracking weekend/Labor Day with a carbon monoxide situation. I'm just going to keep going with this and get it done.
Values Round
Marti and I attended class the next day wearing our standard issue recruitment tee. During one of our classes while waiting for the professor to arrive, a beautiful girl walked in wearing Raj letters. She smiled brightly at us and then sat with some of her own friends. During class she was outspoken and answered questions insightfully and correctly. I remember thinking then that I would love to join Raj just to be able to associate myself with someone as cool as her.
That night we attended our first round of “real” sorority recruitment parties wearing our recruitment shirts and shorts. I would be attending the Howard party first. I stood in the middle of the line of my PX group, and waited anxiously as our PX knocked loudly on the door. At that moment all of the chatter on both sides of the door became dead silent, and then BAM! The door flew open and the loudest singing/yelling/chanting I had ever heard in my life began! We were ushered into the Howard-bedecked room, and I was picked up by a girl in a pink Howard shirt and black Capri pants. The active led me to a couch where I sat and she told me she’d be right back. Wait, what? When all of the PNMs had been seated, the Howards lined up around the edges of the room and burst in to some of the most energetic and loud songs I had ever heard. I was again, blown away! What in the world was going on? Weren’t we supposed to be talking and weren’t they supposed to be interrogating me to see if I was good enough for their sisterhood? (That’s where those dang ol’ Lifetime movies had tainted my understanding of what happened during sorority rush) I stared thunderstruck around the room, but noticed that as I did so many actives made eye-contact with me and smiled brightly as though they knew me! What was going on? After the first song someone somewhere in the room hit ‘play’ on a cd player and the music from a then-popular boy band song began. This is where the Howards temporarily lost me. Many of the other PNMs around the room were clearly enthralled by the fact that the Howards had changed the words to the song to talk about sisterhood, and watched as they be-bopped in their spots. I on the other hand was not cool with this. I wasn’t a fan of boy bands (classic rock please!) and I didn’t like that the song was soooo popular, as it was all over the radio. I had liked their original songs much better, and appreciated them because they seemed traditional and cute. Buuut, they were enthusiastic and they did keep smiling at me like they were happy to see me, so I just smiled back and waited. When the song ended my active re-joined me and we shared a fun conversation about the usual stuff: classes, recruitment, summer vacay, etc. Then another active approached and the bumping occurred. It was so seamless that oblivious Me didn’t realize what had just happened. Throughout the party other actives came up to meet me, and I was so flattered that everyone seemed to be so excited to meet me – was I really that interesting? What was so special about me that so many sorority girls would want to meet me? During the party I met an active named Brooke whom I really got on well with. We chatted naturally as though we were old friends. I really like these Howard girls! The party soon ended and my PX group and I were whisked off to our next party.
The next party I attended was Sheldon. After Howard I was really excited to see what Sheldon would do! And, the Sheldon party was very similar, though I didn’t get the impression that the Sheldons were as enthusiastic as the Howards. Rather than smiling at individuals, the girls seemed to be scanning the room. When I made eye-contact with one they would smile brightly, but I noticed that it wasn’t the case for everyone. Some girls didn’t get a bright smile, some just got what looked like a perfunctory “thanks for letting me slip by you in the movie theater aisle” smile. Hmmm. But their room was decked out in Sheldon paraphernalia, and these bright shiny objects distracted me enough to keep me from thinking about it too much more. The party continued with the same conversation and seamless bumping, but I remember that a couple of the girls I talked to were rather difficult to talk to and didn’t seem interested in what I had to say. Both Sarah Beth and Claire came by to say hi and that made me feel better. When the party ended I was sure that I wanted to be a Sheldon despite the slightly less than perfect conversation.
Next up was Leonard. Their room was filled to the brim with Leonards clapping and singing enthusiastically, and I was led to a big round table and seated while the Leonards continued singing. When the singing finished I waited to be approached by one the many Leonards around the room, but instead one active sat down at the table with four of us PNMs. We were being quadruple-rushed. I didn’t know the name for it at that time, but even then something about the 4:1 ratio didn’t strike me as a good thing. Why didn’t one of the many Leonards standing around the room come and talk to us? I found out later that the Leonards membership had declined quite a bit the previous semester and they had called on some of the wonderful Leonard alumnae to come and help with recruitment. As is typical with double, triple and quadruple rushing I didn’t have the opportunity to talk with the actives very much. Most of my conversation was lost to the louder more forceful PNM on the other side of the table. But their songs were very cute, and I really enjoyed their symbols and decorations. One of the actives that we talked to was very sweet and tried very hard to engage all four of us. I knew that I liked her and she gave me a favorable opinion of the Leonards. I left the Leonard party knowing that I would want to come back if invited.
The last party of the night was Raj, and I was really excited to see what they were going to be like. I had been so impressed by the Raj in my class that I just knew that they were going to blow the roof off the place! However, when we were led in I was really let down. The dimly-lit room was full of Rajs, but the singing was not nearly as loud as the other sororities, and it was very obvious, even to me, that there were more alumnae than actives. I scanned the room for the Raj I had seen earlier that day and found her singing and clapping. She smiled brightly at me and I returned it. When the singing stopped and the actives approached, I was paired with another PNM and we spoke to a Raj who made it known right away that she was a recent alum. She was very sweet, but I was frustrated that I wasn’t speaking to an active. She was very friendly and polite and did a great job of telling us all about the great things Rajhad to offer, as well as their philanthropy and symbols. A short time later she was bumped by an active (finally!), but this young lady looked and spoke as though she was terrified and would have preferred to be anywhere else. I remember not understanding why she was terrified. Wasn’t I the one being judged here? I thought to myself, “You’re already in a sorority. You’ve got nothing to worry about!” The conversation with our Raj was awkward and uncomfortable. I met the Raj I had seen in class (Stephanie) and found her to be as smart and out-spoken as she had been earlier that day. We were bumped a couple more times, but each of the actives we spoke to was quiet, shy and nervous. I didn’t get good vibe about this group at all, and when the party was over I was felt disappointed. Not because I didn’t want it to end, but because of how let down I felt. Stephanie had been the exception, not the rule. When I walked out the PNM I was paired with and I shared a look, and I knew I didn’t want to return the next night.
My PX group reconvened in the student center and after another meet & greet game we were asked to rank our favorites in order, with the last one being the group we’d prefer not to return to the next night. I hated to do it (because I had so wanted to like Raj), but I ranked as follows:
1. Sheldon, Howard,Leonard
2. Raj
Marti had had very similar experiences at each of the groups, and had ranked the same. We discussed our feelings about each group and agreed that we were leaning toward Sheldon and Howard, with Sheldon having the advantage, though we’d been impressed by Leonard. Raj had disappointed Marti as well, and we discussed that their chapter wasn’t a very strong one on campus, despite its national prestige. The next evening was going to be Skit Night.
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