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Kat,
Thanks for the explaination, that helps. Ranking is a much better way to view the process and would likely lead to less PNM confusion.
My daughter wasn't traumatized by returning to the pref party - she was traumatized (maybe not a good word for tears after an exhausting but exciting week) by having to suicide. She had heard about suiciding and just never thought she would be in that position. She was very excited to visit and re-visit all the houses. Unfortunately the one she cut three times was just not a good fit....really nice girls, but not interested in the same things she was. My daughter kept saying how nice they were and how welcome they made her feel, but the activities they enjoyed were not the activities my daughter was hoping for.
I would venture to say she would have had a perfect recruitment experience if she could have put all of her pref parties in rank order - instead she felt she really didn't fit one chapter and therefore had no choice but to suicide.
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