I'm going to SDT to get to know the sisters better. I tried to make it clear to my rusher today that it was a completely personal thing and that I don't feel at this point in time like I'm ready to accept a bid from them. I'm not counting on a bid, either, I'm going to go to their events and hopefully meet more girls and, if it comes up, rationally explain my reasons for not filling out a bid card.
I'm obviously quite biased here, but I don't think I'm in the wrong for not making a choice I wasn't prepared to make at that point in time. I believe in being fully committed to something when making a life-altering decision, and this is a life-altering decision. It's not fair to the women of the house to have me if I won't be happy, just as it's not fair to me to choose to be somewhere where I won't be happy. Which is why I want to make sure that I'll be happy there before I definitively and essentially irrevocably say yes or no.
I feel like the classic break-up phrase is applicable here: It's not you, it's me. It's not AXO, I have nothing against them at all, it's me. I want to be sure that I'm making the right decision. AXO is a great house for some people, and it might be a great house for me, but I feel like I need more information in order to determine that. So yes, I will take advantage of the fact that they do COB and use that as an opportunity to make a better-educated decision. I realize how lucky I am that I have this chance, and I don't want to ruin it.
I have a question for those of you who are questioning me and my decision. If you had only been offered a bid to a house you weren't completely sold on, what would you do? I just want to reiterate one more time that Alpha Chi Omega is a wonderful house full of outstanding women, but I want to be somewhere where I'm excited to be there. It was the same thing when I was applying to colleges--I was rejected by a lot of schools that "clicked" with me, and accepted by a few that I wasn't completely wild about, but finally accepted by a school that clicked with me and that I was so insanely excited to attend (and still am!
). I'm looking for that in a sorority--somewhere where I feel a click and where I'm insanely excited to be a sister. If I don't find it, I'll be disappointed, but I'll live. I'd love to find that, though. And it could be with A Chi O or SDT.