Shirley, you bring up some valid points of which I don't have the answers to. I will ask Greek Affairs and/or Panhellenic about out-of-state PNMs and teas because nobody wants to inhibit their chances. As you so rightly point out, the percentage of OOS students and subsequently PNMs continues to grow.
However I do know part of the reason for the hometown limitations on who is invited is that for many PNMs it was just way out of hand in regards to time and money. Let's say XYZ chapter held teas in Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, Huntsville, Montgomery, Mobile, and Atlanta. Some PNMs would travel to
every tea in order to get as much "face time" with the XYZs as possible. Some even travel from out of state for multiple events. The cost of travel, attire (because Heaven forbid you are seen in the same dress twice
), and just the time involved was way too much.